here's where i happened to turn and read:
OF THE PROFIT OF ADVERSITY
It is good to us that we have some times grievances and contrarieties: for ofttimes they call a man into himself that he may know himself to be in an exile and that he may put not his trust in any earthly thing.
It is good that some time we suffer gainsaying and that men think of us evil and imperfectly; yea, though we do well and mean well.
Such things help ofttimes to meekness and defend us from vainglory: for then we seek better the inward witness of God, when we be little set by outwardly of men and little credence is given to us.
Therefore a man ought to firm (strengthen) himself in God so that he needeth not to seek any consolations outwardly.
When a man well disposed is troubled and tempted or vexed with evil thoughts then he understandeth God to be more necessary unto him without whom he perceiveth that he may do no good thing; then he mourneth, then he waileth, and then he prayeth because of the miseries that he suffereth. Then also it wearieth him to live any longer: he desireth death that he may be dissolved and be with Christ.
Then also he perceiveth certainly that perfect surety and full peace may not be had in this world.
this struggle to let go of one's reputation really hits home with me lately. there is a certain person i know who tends to live and tell lies, and often begins to believe their own lies. this concerns me that acquaintances or even strangers might be hearing and believing awful and untrue things about me.
i've been reasoning with myself and praying to try to let go of this worry. also to resist the urge to involve myself to try and correct the deception. but like this passage said, it is working for good that i must rely upon and trust God more because of this.
i do also identify with the last part... longing for the day to be free from all of this struggling!
