happy traveller

Rhys & I returned late last night from our California adventure. He's such a great traveller. I can't imagine another 2 or 3 year-old being so well-behaved spending 8 hours in a car, then 6 hours the next day, then 6 hours the next! He's such a joy.

We had a variety of experiences for such a short trip. On Friday, we stayed with my cousin & his family in Camarillo. Rhys had a great time playing with his cousins. I had a great time connecting with Scott & Cortney. We met up with Loren & his friend the next morning for breakfast, then drove down to San Diego with Loren.

We spent the rest of the time in San Diego with Rick & Julie (Lauren's parents) along with Lauren & Loren. They live in Little Italy and showed us around the area. Amazing weather! Rhys had his first encounter with the ocean, and couldn't get enough! He was knocked down by a few waves at La Jolla, but with a little encouragement he was able to enjoy the adventure of letting the waves pass us. We all met up with Brandon & Kerreth at La Jolla and again later at Harbor Church.

Straight after the evening church service, we hit the road again. Lauren stayed behind for another night. Brandon was such a gentleman to cancel his flight in order to accompany me on the drive... then Loren wasn't able to fit on a flight standby, so he drove with us too! That was much more fun than it would have been by myself (Rhys slept the whole way).

I'm so glad that we were able to get out of town together. It was fun to spend time with Rhys and not be thinking about work & other stressful stuff constantly. I'm starting to think I want to live by an ocean...

never

never in my wildest imagination did i ever dream i'd have a life like this.

but now, after all the crap, i am at peace. i hope that i am wiser for having come through - and out of - the awfulness of a dangerously destructive relationship. because of it, i have my awesome little boy. sometimes he was my only motivation for survival. i am grateful for how God responded when i was able to call out, and for the healing that has followed. it feels nice to be really alive again.

thank you, friends who loved me even when i was a heap of destruction.

hello again, toilet

here i sit, sipping a cup of celery juice. i'm in the middle of a colon cleanse. i've been on the toilet a lot today.

it's an 8-day cleanse with a liquids-only fast for 5 days, purchased from blessed herbs (blessedherbs.com). i'm on day 4, which is the first day with no solid food. for the previous three days, i ate less and less food and tried to eliminate the unhealthiest foods (dr. p, i miss you!). instead of food, every three hours (5x/day) i consume a substance with a texture like gritty cream of wheat and a flavor like dirty ginger. i hate ginger... but the only other option was peppermint which i also hate. spicy wins over icy. this substance is called "toxin absorber" and you should check out the website to see what it contains.

when i finish the colon cleanse, i'll be starting the internal cleanse which hits all the major detoxifying organs over 21 days. i can eat real food with that one!

i'm feeling pretty hungry and bloated - not to mention my sore, over-used rear. but i'm not feeling as weak or sick as i expected. several years ago i attempted a liquids-only fast without any aids and by day 2 my whole body hurt; i could hardly stand and felt like vomiting. my mom said, "just eat something!" so i did and haven't tried it again since. now, i understand that when there's nothing in your intestines to absorb the toxins which are trying to leave your body, it all just gets reabsorbed and you can end up feeling quite sick.

i think the hunger will decrease tomorrow, they say the first foodless day is the biggest hurdle. i am really hoping to experience a major improvement in my daily health over the next month of cleansing. it's worth a try; the docs have had no suitable solutions for my health problems. perhaps it's all just this toxic western lifestyle?

i'll let you know how it goes! in the mean-time check out blessedherbs.com. i also recommend the book "the maker's diet" with the associated web site: makersdiet.com.

dissolution

to what music does one listen when working on divorce paperwork? i feel i need some tunes; but which artist am i willing to tarnish with this distasteful task?

i will peruse my library...

guided by voices (robert pollard) comes to mind first, since the artist and music are already firmly associated in my psyche with drunkenness, addiction, and abandoment. maybe i will enjoy some of the better stuff some day. but now, i need something different...

some pavement would be ironic, since our relationship began through the discussion of one of their albums. but it doesn't feel right, i want something hopeful...

caedmon's call! that will work. i've got self titled (hand), 40 acres, and long line of leavers. those should last a few hours.

here goes.

outlets

why are electric outlets placed at mid-shin height? if you were a janitor, you'd wonder too. bending over time & again to plug in the vacuum gets tiresome. why can't the outlets be at waist height? my theory is that the near-floor height became standard for the sake of plugging in floor lamps. i guess extra chord would be used up in the height too... but it would be worth it.

speaking of outlets, i feel like i need to go for a hike. i need to have a good cry and journal it out. i'd really like to start the painting i've been picturing in my head. i want to dance with somebody (not necessarily somebody who loves me). i wish i had the energy to meet a friend for tea, have a really good talk, and be wholly present. instead, i'm overwhelmed and distracted. i will get through this time, i know. i have expectant hope... but for now it's a grind.

it's a beautiful life

I just had a fascinating conversation with my 26-month old son.

It is well known that his favorite song is “It’s a Beautiful Life” by Ace of Base. He asks to listen to it several times each day & will usually dance enthusiastically to the beats. So as we were driving home together tonight we were jamming in the car to my “happy music” compilation. when “It’s a Beautiful Life” ended and “Praise You” (Fatboy Slim) began, I heard Rhys babbling in the back of the car.

here’s how it went:

“Babble, babble, amen.”

I turned the music down and listened as he continued. When he paused, I asked, “Rhys, are you praying?”

He replied, “Yeah,” babbled more and said, “Amen!”

“Rhys, what are you praying about?”

“I’m pray to God,” he said in a matter-of fact tone.

“What did you say to God, sweetie?”

“I’m pray for God it’s a beautiful life but then it stopped.” He babbled more about the song & God.

Did you want to listen to “It’s a Beautiful Life” again?

“Yeah.”

“Okay!”

So we listened again.

I’ve got such a beautiful boy!

family photo shoot

i changed my profile picture using a recently acquired photo of rhys and me.

back in july, my family got together to have some artistic, professional portraiture done bye the oh-so-talented barry. (thanks darcy for purchasing and setting it up!) the proofs just came in... and since they're back in indiana, i just have some lower quality scans that my mother so graciously sent

i have shared some of my favorites here, enjoy!

spider hunt!!!

I'm always seeing these big, scary spiders in my house... at least once a day. They like to hide under and behind furniture, in closets, and really love to get in my piles of dirty laundry when leave them laying out. I've learned to be very cautious when doing laundry or moving things in a closet.

Today, I decided I would figure out what kinds of spiders we actually have... so I know whether to be afraid. There seem to be two different types, both brown. One is light brown, fat and juicy, probably 3/4 inch body and 2" long overall. The other is darker, skinnier, and a little smaller.

Well, it only took me about 20 minutes to find one! It was the second type, dark and skinny. here are the best pictures I got, they are the same spider, just different lighting:





(click them to see the larger versions)

After about an hour of searching and reading online, it looks very much like a Hobo spider. But according to the online expert at Burke Museum, it is impossible to identify a spider from a picture, and only a trained arachnologist can make a positive id. Then there's the Hobo Spider website (hobospider.org) which has a lot of info and makes me scared!

Who knows what the other type of spider could be. If I ever catch one of those, I'll post the pics.

So what do you think? Should I be scared? I don't think we'd die if we were bitten, but it could be pretty painful!

of the profit of adversity

i picked up a book today that i haven't read for a long time. it's The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a` Kempis. it's one of those great old books that smells like a library and has obviously been thumbed by many hands. the content is also classic and priceless.

here's where i happened to turn and read:

OF THE PROFIT OF ADVERSITY

It is good to us that we have some times grievances and contrarieties: for ofttimes they call a man into himself that he may know himself to be in an exile and that he may put not his trust in any earthly thing.

It is good that some time we suffer gainsaying and that men think of us evil and imperfectly; yea, though we do well and mean well.

Such things help ofttimes to meekness and defend us from vainglory: for then we seek better the inward witness of God, when we be little set by outwardly of men and little credence is given to us.

Therefore a man ought to firm (strengthen) himself in God so that he needeth not to seek any consolations outwardly.

When a man well disposed is troubled and tempted or vexed with evil thoughts then he understandeth God to be more necessary unto him without whom he perceiveth that he may do no good thing; then he mourneth, then he waileth, and then he prayeth because of the miseries that he suffereth. Then also it wearieth him to live any longer: he desireth death that he may be dissolved and be with Christ.

Then also he perceiveth certainly that perfect surety and full peace may not be had in this world.

this struggle to let go of one's reputation really hits home with me lately. there is a certain person i know who tends to live and tell lies, and often begins to believe their own lies. this concerns me that acquaintances or even strangers might be hearing and believing awful and untrue things about me.

i've been reasoning with myself and praying to try to let go of this worry. also to resist the urge to involve myself to try and correct the deception. but like this passage said, it is working for good that i must rely upon and trust God more because of this.

i do also identify with the last part... longing for the day to be free from all of this struggling!

skip the small talk

i've never been a lover of chit-chat, but lately i've been especially annoyed by small talk. we use the same old phrases everytime we see eachother, and they seldom hold true meaning. are we saying these empty things to fill the silence and avoid true connection? it's so not me. i don't have anything else profound to say about it right now... just felt like complaining.

i'm back, with a few movie suggestions

i can't believe it's been 2 and a half months since i posted. believe me, i've had many blogging intentions. i could've sworn i posted something! while i was catching up tonight on blogs that i like, i came across carson's about up and coming movies. it led me to start thinking about movies i like. there are a bunch of movies that, for some reason, aren't good enough to be on a "favorites" list, but have really stuck with me. so here goes a little list of some good flicks that i think you should see. it's not all-encompassing... just whatever pops into my brain right now.

The Station Agent
A fun, introspective character film. Read more here.

Love Liza
Philip Seymour Hoffman (made very famous by his role in "Capote") really makes this one work. Very depressing, I sobbed! Read more here.

Burnt by the Sun
A Russian film, set in the 1930's, during the communist revolution. Read more here.

Fei nu zheng zhuan (It's Now or Never)
Probably my favorite Chinese movie. Haven't seen it in a several years, but I remember loving the characters, plot, cinematography, everything! It is also set around the communist revolution.

Apocolypse Now
This is just a classic that everyone has to see. One time, I saw it in an Imax theatre, it was huge! Read more here.

Sjunde inseglet, Det (The Seventh Seal)
A classic Ingmar Bergman film! If you've never seen an Ingmar Bergman, you must! I have only seen about 6 of his, this one stands out most in my memory. More here.

Bossa Nova
A delightful Brazilian romantic comedy. A Brazilian friend recommended this movie to get a positive look at the country, specifically Rio... most Brazilian movies tend to focus on the poverty. This is a feel-gooder. More here.

That's enough for now.

I realized as listing these that most are not for impatient people who tend to only like high-action hollywood type of films. You know who you are. Everyone else, hope you check some of these out! And if anyone likes these, let me know, because I don't have any friends here who can share these kinds of movies with me :-(.

of health and the third eye

i'm annoyed. why is it that so often, healthy living is synonymous with eastern /fringe religion?

lauren & i are trying out organically grown for you, and i just picked up the box of organic produce this afternoon. included is an issue of "natural awakenings, healthy living" mini-mag. peppered throughout are references to many different spiritual and philosophical belief systems that, in my opinion, have nothing to do with healthy living. discovering your third eye, kabbalah, karma, zen, polarity... unfortunately, i have found this same theme at every health food store and in almost every healthy living magazine i've read.

i think it's okay to include the summaries of scientific studies which show some effect of an alternative treatment or lifestyle like meditation, acupuncture, etc. but there's a rampant assumption that those who strive to be healthy are open to all spiritual experience and must believe in karma. forget the fact that many of the commonly accepted belief systems in this subculture have direct contradictions between them!

just because i try to be good to my body and good to the earth doesn't mean i want to be involved in demonic religion. there's a whole new can of worms right there, because i know there are plenty out there who might take offense at that. but i'm not going there right now.

i'm just going to keep on being a health-concerned christian. how many others are there?? are we just letting ourselves be swept in to the dark side of living well? we of all people should acknowledge the responsibility and sense in caring for God's creation within and around us.

awhile back, i did a Bible search to see what it says directly about health. the proverbs talk a lot about gentle or wise words bringing good health, and harsh words the opposite. i found that quite interesting, and have read about studies that verify that causal relationship. people heal much more slowly when their life includes conflict. here's an article on such a study (click text).

so speak kindly, and live well... i've really gotta work on that.

proverbial winds of change

the wind makes me happy.

the skies are overcast, it may rain, and the air is moving.

makes me feel energized and hopeful. or maybe it was the 32 oz dr. pepper i had with lunch.

still, it feels good.

perfect world

i've been pondering a question: did adam and eve have immune systems?

what do you think? maybe i'll share my thoughts at a later time because i now need to sleep.

identity crisis

(warning: if you are unfamiliar with myers-briggs temperament types, you may be a bit confused)

in my mid-teens, my dad took a psych class and shared the myers-briggs temperament sorter and the book please understand me II by david keirsey with my family. my sister and i were fascinated with the whole concept of typology and both tested as idealists. she was an infp, and i an enfp "champion".i was amazed when i read the description of my type, and couldn't believe how right-on it was. it described things about me that i had never actually identified, but had always felt. for example:

Idealist self-confidence rests on their authenticity, their genuineness as a person, or put another way, the self-image they present to the world allows for no facade, no mask, no pretense. - pg 138
P.U.M. II, Keirsey

and

Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty, and so can become bored rather quickly with both situations and people, and resist repeating experiences. Also, they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in their experience. - pg 156 P.U.M. II, Keirsey

i remember thinking, "you mean, there are other people who are this way?!" there were some things i could throw out or were only partly true, but mostly it was me.

immediately, we started making everyone we knew take the test. we were obsessed. it just makes sense for us as nfs to care so much about self-actualization and mutual understanding. over the years, i have taken the test many times, and have always been enfp, even after i felt i had changed. often, though, two of the letters came up even, the e/i and the f/t. i was only really strong on the n and the p. i never even had a bit of j in me, a fact which explained much about me.

well, the other day i did a sorter for the first time in a few years. this time it was from the book personality type: an owner's manual by lenore thomson. (i'm really liking the book) i scored as an intp! what's more astounding is that i answered two questions on the j side as opposed to p! it's slightly distressing to have my perception of myself be challenged this way. any artisans or guardians reading would probably think that's pretty ridiculous.

after reading about intp's, some if it is very true of me:

They tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies in thought and language instantaneously, and can detect contradictions in statements no matter when or where the statements were made. Only sentences that are coherent carry weight with them, and thus authority derived from office, credential or celebrity does not impress them. - pg 206

that drives brooks so crazy about me... i can't help but rephrase his sentences properly for him sometimes. this temperament also explains my obsession with logic and natural laws. the only school subjects in which i regularly scored well were math and sciences. one semester in college, i got an a+ in symbolic logic and a d in painting. how backwards is that?

i have come to the conclusion that i have a personal spectrum of temperament ranging from enfp to intp. often times, i do sense my conflicting tendencies inside of me.

enough about me. how about you? here is a free test online. go take it and tell me what you score, and whether the type description is a good fit. i just took this particular one and was enfp again! still was close to the middle on e and f.

for the journey

my best friend ever, misti, flew to town today. i love her. we became instant pals when we met over 10 years ago. to say that life has changed since we were 15 is an understatement. but here we are, still friends through it all.

we are pretty different overall, and that's part of the reason our relationship survived highschool... we never had the same love interests. okay, maybe we shared a crush once or twice, but nothing major.

we don't keep in that great of touch, sometimes months go by without a phone call. but we don't get offended. we just pick up where we left off when we do get together. oh, it feels good to unload and talk for hours on end about our deepest, darkest thoughts. it's so liberating to be understood and identified with, without being looked down upon. anything goes.

anyway, i'm glad my friend is here!

through the bible in a year, or five

there's this really cool website (bibleinayear.org) that helps you to read throught the Bible in a year by emailing you your daily scriptures. i've been with the program for probably almost five months. honestly, i haven't even read half of the emails, just delete them when i know i'm not going to get to it. but right now, it's starting to get interesting.

i chose the format to be chronological, and right now i'm up to david. the reason it's neat is that the psalms he wrote are more in context, so i see the surrounding circumstances for each song/poem. i can read the third-person historical account, and the next day get up close to david's heart.

check it out, and don't guilt trip yourself if you skip it some (or most) days... i just move on when i get the motivation.

lejana y sola

well, i've had a few positive things happen since my last posting.

thursday, after putting rhys to bed, i took a long, hot bath complete with a cup of hot tea and a good book (ragamuffin gospel). ahhhhh.

friday, i decided to work on the house and not worry about business, except for checking my email. it has a big impact on my state of mind to have things less chaotic around me. i was still struggling big-time with negativity though. woe is me, i'm so burdened, blah blah. why can't i shake it?

i was pleasantly surprised on friday evening that brooks thought we should go to the birthday celebration for jeff (& audrey & kira), even though it's not in our budget. but we went & had a great time with everyone. wish we could've gone to see the narnia movie too!!

then tonight (saturday) we attended a fabulous, formal Christmas ball! we danced and laughed and socialized while rhys was with his mimi & papi (brooks' parents). i could've stayed all night. thank you lauren (and others whom i do not know as well) for inviting us and for all of your hard work. it was a success, and a great escape for me personally.


so, that was the good stuff. plenty of bad, annoying stuff happened too; but i'm making an effort at positivity here!

this afternoon, while brooks and rhys napped, i journaled a prayer and a scripture came to me which was encouraging. the thing is, i think it's so overused & cliche, but when i thought of it, it gave me comfort. it's funny how a passage can speak to one differently through the varying stages of life... Living and Active.. here it is in the New Living Translation:

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." (Matthew 11, at the end)

the reason i was comforted is that i felt understood by Christ, He was talking to me. He has compassion for me and wants to teach me gently. when i started thinking about it more deeply, i got a little confused, like how exactly does this work? can i truly claim this rest in my soul while the surrounding circumstances remain difficult? i want that! i am continuing to meditate on it in my quiet moments (and the surrounding text).

in the meantime, anyone who cares, please pray for me to be motivated toward holiness in all i do. i've just been flailing, as may be evident from my previous blog.

just to blog

i'm posting just to get something up here, it's been so long.

i'm pretty stressed out... brooks lost his job less than two weeks ago, actually on his birthday, november 26. i really took it in stride at first, i sort of always had it in the back of my head that he could lose his job at any time. he had been discontent there for a long time but couldn't bring himself to quit and find something else. his overal lack of motivation really showed in his performance, therefore he ended up getting fired.

anyway, so, i always had these contingency plans in the back of my head if he lost his job what we would do. and of course, i knew i'd have to actively seek new clients for my commercial cleaning company (green clean). brooks' former boss has been awesome in that regard. i clean the building that he owns, and he personally contacted some other building owners that he knows and referred my services. he is amazing. i've delivered a proposal to one of those referrals so far, and hope to hear from one of the others. i've just got to focus on getting one at a time though.

like i said, i took it in stride at first. but now i feel like i'm running out of reserves. being a mom and running a household is more than a full-time job in itself. now i'm in charge of planning and preparing every meal for us, we used to eat out quite often. plus i am trying to encourage brooks in his plans for finding a new career path and help him to get healthy. he has been dealing with some major health problems lately. on top of all that i also have this business to manage which seems to have had a lot of little problems coming up. i'm way behind on paperwork and am in dire need of an office day without rhys whining for my attention.

when it comes to the end of the day, after i get rhys put to sleep, i just feel wiped and am pretty much ready to sleep myself. the dishes from dinner sit dirty, toys are scattered on the floor, the trash stinks and needs to be taken out.

i do get a lot done every day, it's just that my recently doubled daily tasks leave very little time for the other periodic items whch are piling up. tomorrow morning, it all starts again. when am i going to get a breath of air?

i never thought i'd be an oprah watcher

i haven't typically been a tv watcher during the day... kind of like wine drinking. it just doesn't seem appropriate until the evening. but occasionally of late, i've been turning it on at around three in the afternoon. yes, it's oprah time.

it's not as bad as i always assumed. some of the guests aren't very interesting to me, so i turn it off on those days. but sometimes, i really enjoy it. like how she's on this mission now to find child molestors and get them in jail. it was satisfying to see the stories about the two that have been caught so far.

unfortunately, she is pretty confused spiritually. i think she has really good intentions.

today she had a special report about poverty in the u.s.a. it makes me wonder how many people we may have in our part of town who are living below the poverty line. it is pretty rough around here... but i still don't know any really poor people (if you don't count my brother). how can i live among them and not even know any? i do try to be friendly with my section 8 housing neighbors, they just seem to want to move on when i talk to them, well except the mexicans next door, but i only speak a little spanish. i used to know hundreds in indiana, probably because i volunteered with an inner-city outreach, kids' church. i was just more connected in that city. here, i feel like people are so much more private and divided.

why are middle-classers afraid of poor people? i think one reason is that the only interaction we have across classes is when one class is offering aid to another. this automatically defines the relationship with one as the taker and the other as a giver. this carries the implication that one is better than the other. if we were to befriend the poor, do we fear we'll be sucked dry financially? would they just be leaches and make us feel too guilty to enjoy our own income? or could we have true give & take friendships as fellow people.

i think i used to be poor. my parents had some tough financial times when i was young. i do remember a wonderfully home-made Christmas one year. our parents couldn't afford to buy gifts, so my ever-resourceful mother made an impressive, furnished dollhouse out of bottles, packaging, boxes & fabric scraps. we loved that stuff for years! she created some other little jewels too, but the doll furniture was the best. our apartment complex at the time was pretty culturally diverse (which i had no concept of as a child... it never even crossed my mind that ethnicity had anything to do with whom a person was until i was at least 10). looking back, it's hard for me to tell how poor we might have seemed to outsiders. it didn't matter, my child eyes found marvels in the mundane... i felt rich when i discovered that the honeysuckle flowers beside our building held sweet nectar, the crab apple trees seemed an expansive kingdom for me to climb. the hollow metal light pole with an opening in the bottom was my own personal recording studio. i walked with a sceptar (stick), knocking seeds off of the sunflower hanging over a neighbor's fence. oh, and the blackberry bushes near the edge of the complex, now those were a real treasure.

that was fun to remember. what does all that have to do with anything? well, i guess, poor is a state of mind. then again, i always had food to eat. the truly destitute & malnourished are another story. it's pretty sad to know that we have that sort of poverty in our country. i have so many thoughts on this, about our role in this as the church, as individuals. i have gladly given meals on the spur of the moment to ragged people who asked (and some who didn't)... and a few times ended up having meaningful conversations as we sat and ate together. i encourage everyone to do this without fear. i have not done it much since i got married, to respect my husband's wishes concerning my safety; but i do miss those days of fearlessly seizing opportunities to connect with the needy. why are you afraid? nothing will happen to you that is outside of God's will, step out and see what he will do when you radically obey his command to feed & clothe the poor. maybe you'll actually make some friends along the way.

there are so many ways i could go with these thoughts, but it's too late, so i'm going to have to stop myself. but, as a result of these ramblings, i am inspired to finish reading no compromise. it's about the ministry of keith & melody green. now, they were radical.

i think i'm thinking too much

i obviously haven't been writing much since i started this pointless blog. the thing is, i keep thinking of things that i'd like to write about, but always see a reason why i shouldn't. for instance, i have a lot of observations and personal comments on marriage... but i know my husband would not like being discussed and exposed. even if i want to talk about marriage in general, my frame of reference is obviously in relation to him. but one thing i can say is: it really does take three to make a healthy marriage.

anyway, since i always shoot down my own ideas for what to post, i decided to just get on and write and see if anything would come to me.

well, i know rhys won't mind if i include him. he's my sweet little baby boy. he's almost a year old, and i still can't get over how awesome he is. he's learning so quickly. it's so fun now that he can understand some words and respond. i say, "where's your ball?" and he crawls right to it. i say, "clap your hands." and he obliges gleefully (usually). what a doll. it's so difficult to fathom that he will actually be a separate and independent person some day. he is so very dependent on me physically and emotionally right now.

it just makes me think about how young adults often become estranged from or resentful toward their parents. i wonder how that starts. it can't just be one day that the kids decide they no longer respect their parents... there must be a gradual distancing that goes unnoticed until it's too late. i need to find some older parents who never had that happen with their kids and get some advice. i'm not the type to withdraw my love when i disapprove of one's behavior, so i don't think i'll fall into that manipulative trap.

actually, i am probably more likely to err on the side of being too soft. i do understand the critical need for guidance and discipline; i believe the Bible clearly teaches that it is imperative part of parenting. my problem is that I tend to give the benefit of the doubt. especially since rhys can't speak for himself yet, i try to think of why he might be behaving badly and try to correct the situation rather than correcting him. this only seems logical and appropriate. i mean, there are obvious times when he's just plain being disobedient. i've told him a hundred times, "no" when he pulls on an electric cord. he knows it's off limits, but he still goes for sometimes. but some people think that he should be disciplined for crying when he's done eating and wants out of his high chair, or ignored when he cries because he wants to be held. i think those are legitimate baby needs, and he just hasn't learned a better way to let us know. my mom says that moms are just made to be the sympathetic ones, so maybe she's right.

one thing's for sure; i'd rather be too loving than too harsh. wouldn't you agree?

now, i must go snuggle with my sleeping little sweety and go to sleep myself. (yes, we co-sleep)

it's a bum wrap

i am starting a cloth diapering store. it's called "a bum wrap." i got the idea back when i was pregnant and was looking around town for a place to check out my cloth diaper options. lo and behold, i could not find such a place. i had to figure it all out for myself via the world wide web. i don't think other new moms should have to do the same. i want to be a resource for moms who are thinking about cloth diapering, and an advocate to reach those who would not normally consider it.

i only got serious about this business a few months ago, after talking over my ideas with several people. when my husband started getting excited too, i knew i could really go for it. keep your eyes open for our website to be up and running in november, 2005. we are shooting for february, 2006 to open a physical location. i hope to add a diaper service option within a year.

i think i'll have more posts in the future about cloth diapers... because i'm sure you got the wrong idea as soon as you heard the word. we have no pins, no plastic pants.

i love using our cloth diapers. next time you see me with my little guy, take a look at his bum wrap.

Xilitol links

Xylitol comes in different forms. You can buy products containing it, such as gum & nasal spray. Or, you can buy it in crystal form for cooking & sweetening beverages. There are probably other ways, but I haven't looked into it.

Here are some links, you can buy products from most of these sites:

emeraldforestxylitol.com
xylitol.org
xylitol.com
xylitolstore.com
globalsweet.com

I got my first canister (Emerald Forest brand) from Gentle Strength Cooperative, but I see it is cheaper online.

xylitol

i'm such a follower. everyone else has a blog. now, so do i. i'm not much of a writer and am very inconsistent, so don't expect much.

i joked with jeffrey and brooks that if i ever started a blog my first post would be about xylitol, my current crusade.

xylitol- if you don't know anything about it, do a search. it's amazing. a natural sweetener that's good for your body and good for your teeth! you can even use it if you're diabetic. it is not fake or chemically altered; it is tree sugar and it tastes like it, no aftertaste. it is metabolized independently from insulin. you get no sugar highs, no sugar lows.

the one and only downside is, well, it's a little expensive. i think it's worth it. since i stopped gorging on refined foods, i'm feeling much better in general. having xylitol helps me satisfy my massive sweet tooth while remaining true to my dietary ideals.

that's all for now. more crusades to come.