i think i'm thinking too much

i obviously haven't been writing much since i started this pointless blog. the thing is, i keep thinking of things that i'd like to write about, but always see a reason why i shouldn't. for instance, i have a lot of observations and personal comments on marriage... but i know my husband would not like being discussed and exposed. even if i want to talk about marriage in general, my frame of reference is obviously in relation to him. but one thing i can say is: it really does take three to make a healthy marriage.

anyway, since i always shoot down my own ideas for what to post, i decided to just get on and write and see if anything would come to me.

well, i know rhys won't mind if i include him. he's my sweet little baby boy. he's almost a year old, and i still can't get over how awesome he is. he's learning so quickly. it's so fun now that he can understand some words and respond. i say, "where's your ball?" and he crawls right to it. i say, "clap your hands." and he obliges gleefully (usually). what a doll. it's so difficult to fathom that he will actually be a separate and independent person some day. he is so very dependent on me physically and emotionally right now.

it just makes me think about how young adults often become estranged from or resentful toward their parents. i wonder how that starts. it can't just be one day that the kids decide they no longer respect their parents... there must be a gradual distancing that goes unnoticed until it's too late. i need to find some older parents who never had that happen with their kids and get some advice. i'm not the type to withdraw my love when i disapprove of one's behavior, so i don't think i'll fall into that manipulative trap.

actually, i am probably more likely to err on the side of being too soft. i do understand the critical need for guidance and discipline; i believe the Bible clearly teaches that it is imperative part of parenting. my problem is that I tend to give the benefit of the doubt. especially since rhys can't speak for himself yet, i try to think of why he might be behaving badly and try to correct the situation rather than correcting him. this only seems logical and appropriate. i mean, there are obvious times when he's just plain being disobedient. i've told him a hundred times, "no" when he pulls on an electric cord. he knows it's off limits, but he still goes for sometimes. but some people think that he should be disciplined for crying when he's done eating and wants out of his high chair, or ignored when he cries because he wants to be held. i think those are legitimate baby needs, and he just hasn't learned a better way to let us know. my mom says that moms are just made to be the sympathetic ones, so maybe she's right.

one thing's for sure; i'd rather be too loving than too harsh. wouldn't you agree?

now, i must go snuggle with my sleeping little sweety and go to sleep myself. (yes, we co-sleep)