lejana y sola

well, i've had a few positive things happen since my last posting.

thursday, after putting rhys to bed, i took a long, hot bath complete with a cup of hot tea and a good book (ragamuffin gospel). ahhhhh.

friday, i decided to work on the house and not worry about business, except for checking my email. it has a big impact on my state of mind to have things less chaotic around me. i was still struggling big-time with negativity though. woe is me, i'm so burdened, blah blah. why can't i shake it?

i was pleasantly surprised on friday evening that brooks thought we should go to the birthday celebration for jeff (& audrey & kira), even though it's not in our budget. but we went & had a great time with everyone. wish we could've gone to see the narnia movie too!!

then tonight (saturday) we attended a fabulous, formal Christmas ball! we danced and laughed and socialized while rhys was with his mimi & papi (brooks' parents). i could've stayed all night. thank you lauren (and others whom i do not know as well) for inviting us and for all of your hard work. it was a success, and a great escape for me personally.


so, that was the good stuff. plenty of bad, annoying stuff happened too; but i'm making an effort at positivity here!

this afternoon, while brooks and rhys napped, i journaled a prayer and a scripture came to me which was encouraging. the thing is, i think it's so overused & cliche, but when i thought of it, it gave me comfort. it's funny how a passage can speak to one differently through the varying stages of life... Living and Active.. here it is in the New Living Translation:

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." (Matthew 11, at the end)

the reason i was comforted is that i felt understood by Christ, He was talking to me. He has compassion for me and wants to teach me gently. when i started thinking about it more deeply, i got a little confused, like how exactly does this work? can i truly claim this rest in my soul while the surrounding circumstances remain difficult? i want that! i am continuing to meditate on it in my quiet moments (and the surrounding text).

in the meantime, anyone who cares, please pray for me to be motivated toward holiness in all i do. i've just been flailing, as may be evident from my previous blog.